You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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