that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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