Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
