dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
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