please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
