I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
