Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
