my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
