you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
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