Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
