i just wanna soil my oats bro
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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