your thong is hanging out like whoa
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
