I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Randomize
