Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
