I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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