She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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