What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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