Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
babies were throwing up all over the place
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
