so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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