kristin has been a bad kristin
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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