Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
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