You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Randomize
