Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
