idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
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