we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
