So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
