Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i just had sex bonerless
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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