Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I got inside last night via doggy door
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
