do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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