I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
