my mouth tastes like poor choices
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
