If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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