Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
