Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
