you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Dicks are not precious.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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