I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I love you. Go after that dick
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
