Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
