Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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