Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
