Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
