id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
