There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
