But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
