im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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