Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
