I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
