It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Randomize
