so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
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