glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
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