after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
