Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
