This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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