I need help removing her.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
