carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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